I'm Not Your Girlfriend!
by SlayerBVC
Summary: Chowder discovers that Panini has been sneaking into his room to watch him sleep every Friday for several months. Fed up with her constant obsessing over him, Chowder decides to give her a taste of her own medicine through reverse psychology.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The chubby cabearit was fast asleep in his bed, Chowder had a fair amount of slawberry icing still on his face from dessert, and was licking it off as he snoozed. At least he was snoozing, until he felt something graze the back of his neck. He opened his eyes and saw the one person who had no business being there, especially past midnight.

"Oh, hi Chowder." Panini said to her crush.

"I'm....not your....*yawn* boyfriend." Chowder said to her drowsily. He would have preferred to shout it, but being half-asleep at the moment, he decided it wasn't worth the effort. Chowder was more concerned about why SHE was in HIS bedroom at 1:30 AM. "Why are you here Panini?" he asked.

"I was just enjoying my favorite pastime of spending Friday night watching you sleep, num nums*." she answered. Chowder was mentally slack-jawed beneath his drowsy face when she said that. "And you've been doing this for how long?" "Oh, I dunno, months." she said in reply. Chowder let out a frustrated sigh and asked her to go home. "Bye my future husband." "Just go." he said.

Chowder couldn't get a wink of sleep for the rest of that night, even after he drank three glasses of blormed milk. He was just so paranoid at the thought of Panini coming back; he'd even taken the step of boarding up his window so she couldn't get in. She'd crossed the line tonight, and Chowder wasn't about to take the chance of her returning. His lack of sleep was extremely evident in the morning as he kept falling asleep in the kitchen. It was only when Chowder dozed off headfirst into a customer's order, that Mung took notice.

"Chowder! Chowder! Wake up!" He shouted into the boy's ear, startling him awake. Mung had never seen his apprentice look this tired before, as he took one look at his sleep-deprived eyes; though on the upside there was still food in the refrigerator for once (Chowder was just too tired to eat any of it.) "Sorry Mung *yawn* I couldn't get to sleep last night. Not after...*yawn*"

'THUD!'

Chowder fell asleep on the kitchen floor, and was out cold once again. Shnitzel came over and tossed a bucket of cold water on the boy, waking him up. "Okay! Okay! I'm up! I'm up!" Chowder said quickly. "What were we talking about again?" he asked his master, having lost his train of thought when he dozed off. "You were about to say why you couldn't get to sleep." He reminded him.

"I couldn't get to sleep because I found out that Panini's been in my bedroom, watching me sleep every Friday for months." "Mung, what did I do to deserve this?" Chowder asked him. Mung didn't really have an answer for his apprentice. Endive's apprentice was the least favorite person Chowder would want to see, his dislike of her driven by the obsessive crush she had on him. "Just once, I'd like her to be able to know what I go through, when she does stuff like that." he said to Mung.

"Radda radda radda radda radda radda radda radda?" Shnitzel asked the boy.

"Reverse Psychology? What's that?" he asked.

"Reverse Psychology is when you get a result from somebody by telling them the opposite of what you want them to do. For instance, Chowder, DO NOT eat this pie." Chowder wanted to follow his master's request, but that spiced grabble pie was just too good to ignore, and was in his stomach five seconds later. "See, that's reverse psychology." "And it might work for you too. Give Panini the same obsessive treatment she always gives you, and see what happens." Mung suggested.

"Thanks Mung." Chowder said.

'THUD!' He was out like a light again.

"Radda radda radda radda radda radda radda." Shnitzel said to Mung.

"Yes, I think it might be best if he waited until tomorrow too." he said in agreement.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

**1.)** Scary thing is that Panini might actually do something like this.

* * *

Chapter Two Coming Soon!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next day Chowder went out to the farmers' market as usual. He felt a lot better after getting all of that sleep yesterday. "Hey Chowder!" Gazpacho called him from his fruit stand. "I missed you yesterday little buddy. What happened?"

"Oh hey Gazpacho. I was really tired yesterday, so I didn't really get out at all." he said in reply. "Tired? As in you couldn't catch some Zs that night?" Gazpacho asked the boy. Chowder just nodded back. "This is going to sound weird coming from me Gazpacho, but you haven't seen Panini around yet have you?"

He quickly got his question answered as the pink cabearit sprinted up to him. "Hi, boyfriend." she said, but before she even got a chance to do anything further, Chowder had moved uncomfortably close and started hugging her. "I have a poem I would like to read to you." he said.

"er-hem."

It was quite easily the single worst piece of poetry anybody had ever written, lacking any coherence at all whatsoever, but she couldn't seem to notice the horrible quality and was only focusing on the fact that Chowder was reading a poem to her. "Um... wow, thanks Chowder." Panini said.

"Chocolates my dear?" He asked, handing her a heart-shaped box filled with the sweets. She couldn't believe it, had he finally come around? "For me? Thank you num nums. Well, guess I'd better get going." she said heading off toward Ms. Endive's, not noticing for several minutes that Chowder was following her. At least until he picked her up in a massive bear hug. "Um... okay Chowder, I uh... really need to get going." Panini said, getting a little uneasy with the sudden increase in attention she was getting from the boy.

"Have I mentioned how cute you look today?" He asked her. Panini managed to squirm her small body free from his tight grip, and took off as fast her little legs could go. 'Yes, I think it's working.' Chowder thought to himself. He went into a sprint after her.

Gorgonzola was just walking along the street when he saw Panini run past him with Chowder not too far behind. 'Wait, what.' the candle holder did a double take, and decided that he must be hallucinating, as he continued down the sidewalk. "I really need to lay off the fondue." he told himself pinching his forehead.

"Chowder, please stop following me!" Panini begged him. "But I thought that you'd like to go over the list of one hundred names I came up with for our child!" Chowder shouted. He had chased her through the farmers' market, and neither one was about to stop running. "Leave me alone!" "I just want to look at your cute face, 'Nini*!" Chowder called out to her. Panini finally saw her safe haven, as she unlocked the door to Ms. Endive's Tasteful Foods, and shut it just as Chowder was two feet away.

After she locked the door, Panini took a quick look out the front window to see if he was gone. She was worn out, and as she sat down to try and catch her breath, she started to talk to herself about what had occurred. "What just happened? He didn't say 'I'm not your boyfriend!' once that whole time. It was almost like one of my Chowder-related dreams became a nightmare. Okay, get a grip girl, he probably just didn't get enough sleep. That's got to be it. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow."

* * *

**Author's Notes**

1.) Heh, I could kinda see Chowder giving her that nickname.

* * *

Don't expect any new content until later in the week. Reviews appreciated. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm Not Your Girlfriend!**

**Chapter 3**

Chowder was thrilled as he headed back to the catering company. He still couldn't believe that this whole 'Reverse Psychology' stuff actually worked. There was no way Panini would act like she usually did around him again. "Well, looks like somebody had a good day." Truffles said, noticing the boy's good mood as he came in the front door. "Yup, and I think Panini might finally leave me alone." Chowder said happily. He maintained that mood for the rest of the day.

As he got ready for bed that night, Chowder couldn't help but wonder if his behavior with Panini that day was too much for her. "No, she's been doing the same things to me for months. She deserved every bit of what I did to her today." He said to himself trying to rid himself of any remorse, putting on his plaid nightclothes, 'So then why do I feel so rotten for chasing after her?' he thought as he climbed into bed.

On the other side of the farmers' market, Panini was still trying to assure herself that everything would be just fine in the morning. 'He's never acted like that before. But yet his behavior seemed so familiar.' she thought as she put on her mint green nightgown, 'I just want my num nums back! Not that romantic, aggressive Chowder that I saw today.' Panini got into her bed and buried her face in her pillow as she started to cry. Ms. Endive would be sure to scold her if she heard anything that even sounded like crying.

Both kids had nightmares concerning the other that night. Chowder had just become friends with Panini in his. He was surprised at how much he enjoyed being around her when she wasn't romantically obsessing about him. But as they were crossing a rope bridge, one of the boards broke under Panini's feet, and despite his best efforts to help, her hand slipped out of his, and she fell into a ravine filled with sharp, pointed rocks. One impaling her small body*.

Panini's started off as another one of her many Chowder dreams did, with him being in love with her. However she quickly realized that this time it wasn't her num nums. It was the insane, romantic Chowder that she ran from today. She tried as best as she could to get away from him, but he was surprisingly fast, and eventually she fell down after her shoe caught the edge of a pothole. This gave him enough time to catch up to her, Panini shut her eyes as she waited for the crushing squeeze of his massive hug.

The nightmares ended as the two apprentices woke up drenched in sweat and breathing rapidly. Chowder and Panini both kept telling themselves that it was just a bad dream, even though both nightmares seemed so real. "That's it, I can't do that to her again. I have to tell Panini what I did yesterday and why I did it." Chowder decided, unable to take the guilt of his actions anymore. "Num nums will back tomorrow nini. Num nums will be back tomorrow nini." Panini kept saying to herself, although she did kind of like that nickname Chowder had given her.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

1.) Whether he'd admit it or not, I think that Chowder would be traumatized if anything were to happen to Panini.

* * *

So both apprentices end up having nightmares about each other. But Chowder's is what I'd assume to be a different kind of nightmare than what he'd usually have.

Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm Not Your Girlfriend!**

**Chapter 4**

Neither Chowder or Panini saw the point in trying to go back to sleep as they saw the sun start to break through the night sky. Eventually they got out of their beds and got themselves ready for that day. As Chowder splashed some cold water onto his face, he began to wonder if he'd even be able to come clean with Panini about yesterday. But then the nightmare that he'd just awoken from less than two hours ago replayed in his head. He couldn't put off telling her, he would just have to be honest and hope that Nini understood.

Panini wasn't sure if she wanted to even go to the farmers' market today. The bad dream she had not too long ago popped back into her mind, and she cringed at the end of it. Then it hit her, 'wait a minute... Obsessive romantic behavior, relentlessly following me no matter how hard I tried to get away, the nickname.'

"Chowder was acting just like me!" Panini was simultaneously put into a state of shock and understanding. She was shocked because she couldn't believe her num nums would do such a thing. However, at the same time she began to understand why he ran from her. She had literally tried to smother him with affection on several occasions. "Maybe watching him sleep once a week was taking it too far." Panini said to herself. "I've got to have a talk with him today." she decided.

Chowder walked up to Gazpacho's, "Hey, little buddy. Whoa! You're not looking so hot today. What's up?" Gazpacho asked the young chef.

"I tried some reverse psychology on Nini yesterday."

"Who?" Gazpacho asked Chowder, not knowing anybody by that name.

"Oh sorry, Nini's the nickname I gave to Panini yesterday when I used reverse psychology on her"

"Oh, that's a pretty creative nickname. And the psycho-whatever didn't work?"

"No, worse. It did work, and now I feel terrible for using it." "I don't know why though."

"Well, mother always told me that you never know who your real friends are until you've driven them away.*" Gazpacho told the boy.

Chowder realized that this must be why he felt so horrible. He did kind of value Nini as a friend to a certain degree, just not to the extent that she did. But in the course of the last twenty-four hours he had driven her away from him. He could feel the tears starting to well up in his eyes.

"Chowder are...you crying?" Gazpacho asked.

"No, men don't cry. They weep!" Chowder replied, wiping his eyes on his sleeve as he tried to fight back his tears.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

1.) Wait...did Gazpacho just give some good advice from his mother?

* * *

So how's this for a nice Christmas gift!

As you can see this chapter was mostly about Panini figuring out what Chowder was doing to her yesterday, and Chowder going on a guilt trip after realizing that his nightmare was of him driving away the only friend he didn't know he had.

* * *

Due to the overwhelmingly positive response to the nickname I gave to Panini, I've decided to have Chowder start calling her "Nini" more often.

* * *

Expect the chapters to stay somewhere around this size. I'm good with the first two chapters, but I tend to thin the chapter length out as I go on. Next chapter might wrap this fic up, but I'm too sure at this moment.

* * *

Please Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the long wait, but I bring you the conclusion to "I'm Not Your Girlfriend!"

**Chapter 5**

Panini was cautiously walking through the farmers' market, expecting Chowder to jump her, even though she'd figured out what he was up to yesterday. 'Is this how he feels every day? Gosh, what have I been doing to him.' she thought to herself. Panini only broke out of her paranoia when she heard somebody crying. She peeked out from behind a crate and saw Chowder in tears at Gazpacho's. 'Do I dare approach him?' she asked herself.

"I can't believe I scared away my best friend!" Chowder bawled out. "What kind of person am I?" Panini thought nothing of it until she heard what Chowder said next. "I just want Panini back!" A look of surprise came across her face upon hearing that.

'Wait, I'm his best friend?' Panini didn't even know that he considered her to be one of his friends.

As Chowder continued sobbing, he didn't even notice that Panini was behind him until she cleared her throat. Chowder wanted to hug her, except that Panini beat him to it. "How much did you hear?" he asked trying to get rid of his tears. "About five minutes. And by the way, I already know what you were doing to me yesterday."

"I'm sorry it was just that you crossed the line that night, and I just wanted to go with the quickest way to get you out of my life. I just never expected to feel so terrible after I did it." "And before you say I could have just asked you to stop, I've been asking you to stop since we first met. You just seem to drown out what I'm saying, which I'm going to guess you're probably doing right now.*" Chowder finished.

Panini got a sheepish look on her face, but she did have to admit that he had her there, as 80% of the time she was in too much of a lovestruck trance to listen to him. "But now I know what I put you through each time, and I'm sorry too." "Still want to be best friends?" she asked him.

"Of course." he answered as they both gave the other a quick hug and a pat on the back. "Oh and I have no problem with you calling me Nini okay." she told him.

"Hi Panini" Ceviche had come up behind them. Panini took one quick look into the apprentice dancer's lovestruck eyes, and realized what was coming and bolted with him chasing her.

"I"M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!*" She shouted.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

1.) And this is probably true.

2.) This is how the title works into the story. And let's face it, we all want Panini to pull a Chowder at some point.

* * *

Well that concludes "I'm Not Your Girlfriend!" Be sure to read my other Chowder fic "Pop Goes Panini"

Thanks to all who reviewed and hopefully this will not be the last time I hear from you guys.

* * *

Please Review


End file.
